The Definitive Easter Egg Guide

It’s still freezing, the wind speed is approaching something close to what Dorothy would recognise in Kansas, and the high street is starting to push summer wear when thermals are still a necessity. It must be Easter! Which, as any former school kid will recognise, means church, chicks and chocolate.

But long gone are the days of a cheap Cadbury’s Flake Egg, wrapped in foil and picked up from Spar. These days, mini chicken coops displaying tiny cocoa eggs or faux quail’s egg boxes are all the rage and, certainly in my family, we are gently judged for the gifts produced on Easter morning. So here is my definitive Easter Egg Guide. It was hard work finding and trialling these little guys – tasting chocolate can be a hard task-master. But, for the good of the people, we took the task on. Call us heroes, call us greedy – both are accurate.

 The ‘I’m getting my money’s worth out of this’ Egg…

Never let it be said that we are not all about helping you penny save, over here. Eggs may come and go but decorations last a lifetime. Or, until someone knocks it over on to the floor. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

If you’re on the hunt for a egg with staying power then look no further. Tesco have solved this dilemma in one fell swoop with their sweeter than sweet mini egg coop, hiding six milk, white and dark chocolate eggs inside. The coop itself is made of solid wood and wire (which may explain the £8 price tag), but just think of the opportunities! For Christmas you could put mini mince pies in there, or for birthdays a little cupcake in each slot. So think of it not as an egg, but as an investment in joy. Or something like that…

The ‘I’ve got 6 different children coming to my house and I need to give them something each’ Egg…

M & S. Those three syllables have solved more problems for families in distress than NATO, the UN and Interpol combined. Everybody’s high street fave has always got your back when it comes to sweets and their Easter stock does not disappoint.

At just £2 a pop, you can stock your cupboards up with these ‘Oh my Goodness they are too cute’ chocolate bunnies. The wrapping comes in a range of colours, from boyish blue to candy pink so grab a handful – or 9 – and head back to the hoards of children with a great little gift.

The ‘If this was a beauty pageant, this egg has just won Miss World’ Egg…

Two words. Champagne and chocolate. Are there any words that scream beauty more than those?! I think not. And, true to its ingredients, this egg from trusty old M&S has effectively walked across the catwalk, collected her sash and bouquet and is now putting on her tiara. She. Is. A. Stunner.

Looking like something fresh out of Tiffany’s, the pastel blue wrapping and perfect ribbon take this egg from something you may receive as an afterthought, to the star of the show.

So, you may only really be getting truffles inside the egg, rather than a solid egg made of chocolate, plus truffles on top, but this is still a really great option. Because you can bet if you’re unlucky enough to have found the one person in the world who doesn’t like chocolate, then they will be guaranteed to like champagne. Nobody hates both. It’s rarer than being struck by lightning. Fact.

The ‘This egg hunt is going to blow everyone else’s out of the water’ Egg…

Competition. It gets to all of us, at one point or another. Somehow, activities where schools or sports are involved seem to induce it in greater levels than anything else. And nowhere is this more evident than being asked to host the annual Easter Egg Hunt for all the kids from school. Oh no, you say, move aside stale, tiny, cheap eggs. Enter Carluccio’s Easter Basket.

This too-adorable-for-words cardboard basket is like a ready-made Easter kit. Inside is a generous handful of teeny eggs, animals and best of all, a toy. Coming in a colourful pink, yellow and blue mix, the prize for the best basket most definitely gets awarded here. Along with the ‘Gosh, that’s clever!’ and the ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’ prize.

No more rummaging around the shelves of party shops for themed gift bags, the King of Pasta (or his team) have taken care of all of that for you. And all for £9.95.

The ‘Chocolate is not a treat, it’s my way of life’ Egg…

We all know that person, that one guy or girl that takes candy to a new level. That doesn’t wait for each day of advent, but ploughs through to December 24^th by mid September. Well this is the egg for them. With a name that sounds like a character from Transformers, the Chokablok Chocolate Extremist egg is about as serious as they come.

Starting with the egg itself, you are looking at an unapologetically thick Belgian milk chocolate shell, piled high with dark and white chocolate chunks (we are not talking feeble chips here) with even more malt balls and cocoa bounty hidden inside. If you are looking for the Grand Daddy of Easter eggs, you have found him, costing £12 and available from Amazon.

The ‘Who DOESN’T want this / fail safe’ Egg…

Chocolate? Check. Brownies? Check. Nuts? Check. This egg is the definition of a crowd pleaser. It’s like a dessert and a snack and a candy bar all met up and thought, “Hey, let’s make everyone’s day! Let’s just, you know, unite for the greater good.” And this was the beautiful result. The Thornton’s Hazelnut Brownie egg, at a pretty decent £10.

This egg is also solid as a rock because the packaging is totally universal. Not too kiddy for adults, not to serious for young’uns and not too his or hers. Perfect to pick up and keep for the person you don’t know that well, but know for sure they are going to love this chocolaty chum.

The ‘I don’t care if it’s Easter, I’m sticking to the diet’ Egg…

Temptation is a cruel mistress and at a time of year when everyone around you is letting their waistlines and self control slide, it can be a test of willpower greater than anyone could imagine not to fall into the same boat.

But, never fear, FIGS are here! The clever people over at Seggiano have created the ideal sugar satisfier that will leave you feeling indulged but not overwhelmed. Their baked fig ball has the same colour and kinda, sorta, shape as a chocolate egg so you could always try the old mind trickery of convincing yourself it’s the same. Or, just celebrate it for what it is, and give yourself a pat on the back for not succumbing to saccharine seduction. Remember, fruit is nature’s candy – and you are a person on a mission.

The ‘My friends are coming to lunch and I can’t give them a 3-for-5 egg again’ Egg…

Hotel Chocolat are really a go-to brand for any grown up gifty chocolate. Why? Well, they look super fancy, are pretty affordable, aren’t on every street corner and, most importantly, are CRAZY delicious.

This little box of ‘A Dozen Quail Egglets’ is a great solution to the ‘I only want to buy one gift but it’s for two people’ conundrum we all face bravely at some point or other. So, instead of having to rack your brains to remember if he hated walnuts or pecans, or if she said that she would die for salted caramel or die if she saw any more salted caramel, send them away with a selection of 12 to choose for themselves. You can’t go wrong.